Mother
I am a mother.
But not just any mom. I am a mother to an intellectually challenged teenager.
Disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. Some are obvious, while others are invisible. More often than not, an intellectual disability is not easy to spot. Not until you start a conversation with the person or see them in a social setting.
What is an intellectual disability? According to Best Buddies Canada, an intellectual disability is “any condition that includes a lifelong impairment to a person’s ability to learn or adapt to their environment.” It affects many things, including reasoning, processing, memory, social interaction, and emotional articulation. The disability varies from person to person. My child identifies as mild to moderate.
I have been learning alongside my daughter for 17 years. I was not given a manual on what to expect or how to manage the challenges we have already faced and those yet to come. I have cried myself to sleep many nights, asking God why I was given such a different child. Why me? Why her? Why can’t she just be … gulp … normal? His answer?
… Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
I take solace in His word. She is my gift from God. And I am reminded of this every day.
To know my daughter, you would see she has a big heart and is sensitive. It hurts her to the core to see others hurting or suffering. She is very literal – she will tell you she is not full of baloney. She loves Harry Potter, Lego, Disney movies, watching YouTube videos, babies, animals, and singing. Getting her driver’s permit is not even on her radar.
My daughter has made good friends in her Life Skills class and is looking forward to going back to school to see them in September. She won’t receive her diploma when she is done high school though. And there won’t be a fancy high school graduation for her at the end of this school year. Still, she is excited about (hopefully) going to college someday when she is around 21.
And … she knows she is different than other kids.
My daughter wants to make friends and be included. But her disability causes her to miss important cues and not understand social situations. What she says and how she behaves may not be appropriate for a given situation, and you might find that uncomfortable or embarrassing.
Guess what? It’s not about you. It has never been or ever will be about you.